My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
