i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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