I wish I could teleport
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
