Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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