This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize