She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
