Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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