what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
