We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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