yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
