would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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