That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
