you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize