So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
