why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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