please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
