i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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