I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
