Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
