Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
