Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
