I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
