My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
