butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
