Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The struggles of a small town man whore
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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