omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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