All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
