I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
