She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
