Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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