Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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