We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize