I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
