Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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