I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
