I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
