dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
