I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
