you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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