I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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