So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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