i think i have herpe
just one?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
