Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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