Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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