check it out our google latitudes are spooning
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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