College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
they're like a gay fantastic four
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
