Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
false alarm. still invincible.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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