He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
