the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
3pm strippers are depressing
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
