HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm just crazy horny about you
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
