i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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