That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
