i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
40s are totally the cure
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
