dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
