and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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