Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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