Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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