I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
