I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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