I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
