Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
why do cheetos always look like penises
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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