I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
