Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
