Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am midnight drunk by noon
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
