Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
