I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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