I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
