i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
