The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
