p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
