yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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