WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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