dude i'm inner monologue high
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I could fuck to npr.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
